Personal Patination

Our Relief Society lesson on Sunday was on Elder Holland's talk, "None Were with Him." It was taught by a beautiful woman, Virginia Cook, whom I had never met before, except by reputation as a very talented artist, an oil painter. She was very gracious and well spoken, so it was especially easy to be taught by the spirit.

She began the discussion having people share examples of when they had felt alone--divorce, a wayward child, loss of a job, going away to college, family disagreements, or especially those times when we can't share with people when or why we feel alone, maybe because it isn't appropriate, it's too painful, or someone else just wouldn't understand. We've all been there.

There is only one person that understands all suffering of this kind, because He has literally felt the pains of all that's possible to experience: our Savior, Jesus Christ. In Alma 7:11-12, Alma the prophet describes Jesus' suffering and its purpose,

"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."

Elder Holland so eloquently describes how Jesus Christ's "supporting circle got smaller and smaller and his lonely journey back to His Father continued without companionship," even until He suffered the greatest of pain, the withdrawal of His Father. All so that He could know how to 'succor his people,' even when we sin and the Father's spirit withdraws.

Sister Cook then shared the example of painting a still life of a silver pitcher. There isn't a silver color or paint you use, you must paint the reflection of all that is around the silver item to give it shape and its beautiful patina. When silver is fired to rid it of impurities and make it stronger, it is placed in the center of the heat, at its hottest point. However, it can never be left, or it will be ruined if left too long. The artist knows when the silver has reached its potential, or silver patina, when he can see himself in the silver, or its reflection. I thought this was a beautiful metaphor for the atonement. When we allow the Master to work in our lives through difficult experiences and the healing effects of the atonement, we gain that beautiful patina only achieved through living His teachings. We then reflect it wherever we go and others can then see themselves as children of God in the shininess of our 'patina.'

I gained a better understanding of how much my Savior loves me and wants me to utilize His atonement. The pain I feel sometimes is not fun. However, I certainly need some 'polishing.' I had to reaffirm to myself Elder Holland's quote, "May we declare ourselves more fully disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, not in word only, but in deed, in courage and in faith. May we stand by Jesus Christ at all times and in all things and in all places that we may be in, even until death; for surely that is how he stood by us when it was unto death and when he had to stand entirely and utterly alone." Because our Savior stood alone, we don't ever have to.

My mom's day

Today is my mom's birthday. She is 61 today (sorry, mom!)

I remember when my brother graduated from high school in 1993 and she cried and cried because the doctor had told her years ago that if she decided to have children, due to her health, she wouldn't see us graduate from high school. A morbid thought, but one I'm sure she thought about often in her life. Yet, she still chose to have my brother and me. She raised us, too, and now has lived to see not only our high school graduations, but our college graduations, marriages, and to know and love her four grandchildren, 16 years later.

I talked to her this morning as she headed home after her nail appointment and she giggled over Stewart's cute comments and my terrible singing of, "Happy Birthday." We talked about how hard it was for her to see me grow up with diabetes as she felt responsible and worried for me. Some days she probably regretted her choice, for my sake. I don't--which helps me through those days of regret as I watch my own son grow up with diabetes and other, even more difficult health challenges.

Motherhood is an awesome responsibility and a terrific blessing, too. On a few days thrown in there, it is a tremendous burden. Those are the days, though, that help us moms feel grateful for the days when our kids run to us, smiling, to tell us about some accomplishment, a kind word from a friend, a coveted invitation to a birthday party. The days when they wrap their arms around you or play a game with their brother or sister. I'm so grateful for my mom and how she plugged away, living life and being a mom. She has the greatest ideas--like that sticker collection book she made me from slide protectors. She always made the best Halloween costumes and was able to alter any dress for high school dances. She made clothes for my dolls, decorated the house, tole painted and showed us how to work hard in the yard and towards any goal that is worth working for.

After going to beauty school when I was 4 years old, she seemed to do everyone's hair in the neighborhood. In fact, I never had anyone else cut, perm or cut my hair until I was 23 year old and on my mission! She taught me to love crafts and to write thank you notes. She did all the chauffering to piano lessons, school, seminary and sports events and helped host sorority and church parties for my friends. Even when I forgot my lunch or school project, she always saved my day. She even took us toilet papering! She also always listened to my ramblings, even late at night, after dates, and the phone calls from college. She still does!

I'm so grateful for all my mom still does for me and my kids. I love you! Happy Birthday, Mom!