I will never forget

I looked out my parents' living room window today and saw all the flags. I was puzzled for a moment, Labor Day was Monday. Then I remembered that today marks that anniversary of one of the most terrible days in my nation's history since I've been alive: September 11, 2001. It is fitting, too that I'm here in Utah, again, visiting my parents as I was back then.

"Matt and I had just been married that January and he was deployed at the end of August to Saudi Arabia. It was a difficult separation for me, so I was in Salt Lake City visiting family and working on a project for a professor that had overseen my thesis at the University of Utah. I was sitting in the car, waiting for my mom to take me up to the U. and listening to the radio. I heard the announcer break in and say that a second plane had crashed into the twin towers in New York City. I first thought it was an advertisement. Then I ran into the house to tell my mom and turn on the TV. I watched in disbelief and cried. I went up to the University but didn't do any work, just watched TV with all of the students and teachers in the cafeteria. Matt didn't call from Saudi Arabia very often due to the difference in time and his schedule, but he made sure to call me and his parents as soon as he could to let us know the base there was safe but in total lockdown. For the rest of his time there, 3 months, he carried a gas mask wherever he went and never left the base. A year later, Matt and I were able to visit Ground '0' on the 4th of July. We talked about several men he had known in his career that died that day in the airplanes. I cried then and felt so angry that anyone could hate a nation or people enough to destroy so much, especially so many lives. I'm grateful to live in a nation where terror is not usually the norm, that I can be angry about it when it does happen and that so many good people have come together to heal and help each other."

My next post will give the details of what it's like since that fateful day to go through an airport and fly on an airplane with a 30 lb. compressor, a nebulizer, two insulin pumps and all the medicine that goes with them.

D is for Dad--and dinosaurs

I'm sad to realize that my last child is old enough to go to preschool. I'm thrilled, though, that I get to be part of his preschool years with a great group of ladies and their sweet kids. This week was my first turn and we focused on the letter D. I couldn't resist my own 'dinosaur dig' and a Mercer Meyer favorite, 'The Lost Dinosaur Bone.' Anything with paint is always a hit, even over playdoh! We covered ourselves in paint and stamped out a few dinosaurs in all colors.

How can you study the letter D and not talk about dad? The kids really had warmed up on their second day at my house, so I got to hear their sweet comments about how they loved their dads to sing and read to them and that, "My daddy wears a watch!" They each showed pictures and then we painted the word, DAD. We had a blast singing, "I'm so glad when Daddy comes home!" and it reminded me of my own mom practicing that song with us to surprise our dad when he came home from work. I'm really thankful for dads today and was just so happy that each one of my new little friends has a special dad, too and that I know them and respect them all. One is an amazing organist, one is the Cubmaster that I now work with in Cub Scouts; one dropped their daughter off today so that his wife could 'get stuff done;' they all make it a priority to spend time with their kids and be silly with them. Dads are so important and I'm so glad that my kids have one that will spend all evening practicing math, reading school books and even practicing the piano. I'm grateful for my own dad, too, who still always makes time for me.

It's great to be 8!

I didn't think they'd let me in. You know, the admin of this swell blogger forum. Miraculously, I remembered the password and all. I accept my friend, Wendy's challenge in honor of National Blog Posting Month: http://www.nablopomo.com. After not posting since February 25, I start again and will blog everyday for a month. To begin, I reference my post from last year:

"The transition from summer to fall, that significant weekend of Labor Day, always symbolizes change and new things to come. It's the start of a new school year, the start of autumn and all its festivities. I love it! I think the most memorable of school years was starting junior high at Bonneville in 1986 (and how terrified I was) and BYU with Jennifer in August of 1991 (and how terrified I was). For our family, Labor Day also marks the start of the holiday season, beginning with my parents' anniversary on September 5. (They celebrated their 40th this year!)

"The end of August has since become significant for me for a lot of other reasons, more important than any school year or holiday celebration. I was set apart as a missionary and entered the MTC on August 30 in 1995. The fall always reminds me of those two months in Provo where my testimony of Jesus Christ grew more than any other time in my life.

Five years later, Matt and I were officially 'engaged' on Labor Day in 2000. He drove 12 hours from California to bring me the beautiful ring he had picked out. We had a memorable barbecue in my parents' backyard that Labor Day weekend with my parents and my brother, Ben, and and his new wife, Launi (just married on August 9, 2000).

Just two short years later, our first son, Casper, entered the world at 8:15 a.m. on August 31, 2002. Matt's and my life were changed forever. We became parents."





This Labor Day weekend, we celebrated Casper's 8th birthday and new beginning on the path to our Savior, Jesus Christ, as he entered the waters of baptism and became an official member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He was so humble and brave and eager all at the same time. Although you could see his nerves all over his face in the font, he came into the room afterwards, smiling, and told everyone there that he felt 'great' for doing what he did. I especially enjoyed my dad's talk about the gift of the Holy Ghost that we receive with the confirmation after baptism. Dad compared it to our internal GPS. When I drive with our GPS, I am OFTEN prompted to make a U-turn, which is exactly what the Holy Ghost does: prompts us to turn around, away from sin and bad decisions and quietly directs us towards better paths. I am so grateful for this guidance and extra help, especially when I'm actively seeking a specific answer.

Another thing that helps is when I'm surrounded by other people who are also trying to listen to that quiet voice, trying to make the best decisions they can and do not hesitate to admit a wrong turn and quickly correct it. This weekend we felt the love and support of our good friends and family as they rallied around Casper to celebrate his big day. The day was perfect: great food, great friends, great weather, all celebrating a great decision. It truly is GREAT to be EIGHT!

Speaking out

My kids are good kids. They are brave. They work hard. I am proud of them. I hope they always feel they can 'speak out' when something is important to them.

Whitney gave her first talk in church on January 23 and yes, I recorded it. Isn't she sweet?



Casper was invited to be part of Centennial High School's NHS fundraiser for the American Diabetes Association. It was a last minute decision, so I wasn't sure how it would turn out. I shouldn't have worried. Who wouldn't be amazed by a kid like Casper? See for yourself. After his talk, they invited him to be one of the youth ambassadors for the ADA next year and to share his story at specific fundraisers.

I think it will be a good experience for our family.

The Best is Yet to Be

Today marks the ninth year since Matt and I were married. Our wedding day was a special day for me, starting a new life with the person I chose to love, honor and 'stick by' all the rest of my life and forever. I've never once looked back with regret, not even during the rough spots. I lucked out marrying a man who loves me for who I was on that day, who I am now and who I'll be. Hopefully, for his sake, THE BEST IS YET TO BE!

I'm thinking that over the past three years I may not have been the easiest Lori to love. If you know me at all, you know I've struggled during the last three years since our move to Phoenix. We moved under very difficult circumstances in a short amount of time and my sorrow led me into a downward spiral of depression and deep despair, despite all the tremendous miracles, love and good that surrounded me. With the patience of Matt, my family, new and old good friends, time and sometimes just 'faking it,' the depression has lifted and we're moving foward, to the point now, that Matt and I have decided to purchase a home that suits our family better a few neighborhoods away and rent out our current home. The decision has been a difficult one (for me, especially!) because I'm afraid of repeating the past. Or is that really the problem?

While I was visiting Matt's sister's family after Christmas in Afton, Wyoming, I sat down to read the monthly magazine that our Church publishes, The Ensign. One of the first articles literally LEAPT off the page, right from the title: "The Best is Yet to Be," where Elder Jeffrey R. Holland says, The start of a new year is the traditional time to take stock of our lives and see where we are going, measured against the backdrop of where we have been. I don’t want to talk about New Year’s resolutions, but I do want to talk about the past and the future, with an eye toward any time of transition and change in our lives—and those moments come virtually every day.

As a scriptural theme for this discussion, I have chosen Luke 17:32, where the Savior cautions, “Remember Lot’s wife.” What did He mean by such an enigmatic little phrase? To find out, we need to do as He suggested. Let’s recall who Lot’s wife was. The story, of course, comes to us out of the days of Sodom and Gomorrah, when the Lord, having had as much as He could stand of the worst that men and women could do, told Lot and his family to flee because those cities were about to be destroyed. “Escape for thy life,” the Lord said. “Look not behind thee … ; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed” (Genesis 19:17).

With less than immediate obedience and more than a little negotiation, Lot and his family ultimately did leave town but just in the nick of time. The scriptures tell us what happened at daybreak the morning following their escape:

“The Lord rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven;

“And he overthrew those cities” (Genesis 19:24–25).

My theme comes in the next verse. Surely, with the Lord’s counsel—“look not behind thee”—ringing clearly in her ears, Lot’s wife, the record says, “looked back,” and she was turned into a pillar of salt (see verse 26).

Just what did Lot’s wife do that was so wrong? As a student of history, I have thought about that and offer a partial answer. Apparently, what was wrong with Lot’s wife was that she wasn’t just looking back; in her heart she wanted to go back. In short, her attachment to the past outweighed her confidence in the future. That, apparently, was at least part of her sin.

Faith Points to the Future
"As a new year begins and we try to benefit from a proper view of what has gone before, I plead with you not to dwell on days now gone nor to yearn vainly for yesterdays, however good those yesterdays may have been. The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives.

So a more theological way to talk about Lot’s wife is to say that she did not have faith. She doubted the Lord’s ability to give her something better than she already had. Apparently, she thought that nothing that lay ahead could possibly be as good as what she was leaving behind.

To yearn to go back to a world that cannot be lived in now, to be perennially dissatisfied with present circumstances and have only dismal views of the future, and to miss the here and now and tomorrow because we are so trapped in the there and then and yesterday are some of the sins of Lot’s wife.

After the Apostle Paul reviewed the privileged and rewarding life of his early years—his birthright, education, and standing in the Jewish community—he says to the Philippians that all of that was “dung” compared to his conversion to Christianity. He says, and I paraphrase, “I have stopped rhapsodizing about ‘the good old days’ and now eagerly look toward the future ‘that I may apprehend that for which Christ apprehended me’” (see Philippians 3:7–12). Then come these verses:

“This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before,

“I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13–14).

No Lot’s wife here. No looking back at Sodom and Gomorrah here. Paul knows it is out there in the future, up ahead wherever heaven is taking us, that we will win “the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”

So, this is MY lesson: I'm Matt's wife, not Lot's, and "this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before." Email me for the new address!!

Our Christmas 2009 Highlights

We've packed the car and unpacked the car. Packed the car and unpacked the car. On Saturday, we'll pack the car and unpack the car, yet again, as we (hopefully) arrive home in Phoenix. It's been a great trip to visit Grandma Jensen, Uncle Richard and 5 of his kids; Uncle Newel and Aunt Kate and their 3 girls; Grandma and Grandpa Casper; Uncle Ben, Aunt Launi and Jackson. We've reenacted the Nativity, made cookies for Santa, gorged ourselves on yummy food (more than once), wrapped and opened presents, shoveled snow, waged two marshmallow fights, played the Wii, traveled to Afton, Wyoming, played with our cousins, listened to one great missionary homecoming talk, petted a cow and three dogs and sledded on more than one great snow hill. It's been a busy, fun-filled vacation and now I'm ready for a nap!

Two score minus 3 years ago...

...I was born. So I thought I'd write about me. Following my cousin, Marnie's, lead, I'll write 37 things to love or hate about me.

1. I married the man I had a crush on when I was 12 years old.
2. We've been married 9 years in January and they have been the happiest, hardest, most rewarding, saddest, most joyful of my life.
3. I always thought I would get married long before I did. 'Glad it worked out that way!
4. I have Type I, insulin dependent diabetes and I wear an insulin pump.
5. I recently realized that youth is no longer on my side--I'm trying to eat better, lose weight and exercise everyday.
6. I may even go completely gluten free this year.
7. I have three children and my oldest was born just a few months shy of my 30th birthday.
8. I had my youngest the year I turned 35.
9. I always worried about having a girl, but am very glad that we have one!
10. I've had the same best friend since kindergarten and I wish we lived closer!
11. I lived in Salt Lake City, Utah for 21 years in the same house before living anywhere else.
12. Since then I have lived in three other states: Texas, California and now Arizona.
13. My favorite state to live in so far is California. You just can't beat the weather and the proximity to all the favorite vacation spots.
14. I was a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints in Houston, Texas in October 1995- February 1997.
15. I loved learning Spanish and wish I used it more.
16. Before I was married, I worked for the Utah State Health Department and helped design their Pregnancy Risk Assessment Monitoring System.
17. I finished my Masters of Science in Public Health the month before my wedding.
18. I'd like to go back to nursing school when the time is right.
19. I love to take pictures of family events and the silly things my kids do.
20. I have over 20,000 pictures saved on my computer since we got our first digital camera in 2004.
21. I love to scrapbook.
22. I have trouble staying on top of my scrapbooks because I have so many photos!
23. I enjoy traveling, especially when Matt comes along.
24. My favorite trip before we had kids was to Germany after Matt finished his service in Saudi Arabia.
25. My favorite trip with my kids was camping in the Grand Canyon.
26. I knew nothing about the military before I married Matt.
27. I now know enough about the military to be grateful for the men and women willing to give their time and lives away from their families to serve their country and to keep our country free.
28. I don't know enough about the military to understand all the acronyms.
29. Growing up, I suspect that I was pretty hard to live with and am very lucky to have had parents that listened to me, anyway.
30. I'm pretty hard to live with and I'm very lucky to have a husband that loves me anyway!
31. I have a testimony of our Savior Jesus Christ. I know he suffered for my sins so that I can repent, become better and live with Him again.
32. I am pretty hard on myself and often wonder, "Am I getting any better at this?"
33. I love to read a good book and am always looking for a good recommendation.
34. I appreciate a good Diet Coke.
35. While I despise wearing nylons, nothing feels better than a great fitting bra!
36. I play the organ for church and want to start taking lessons, again.
37. I love working in my kids' classrooms, even just to peak at what they are doing.

So, there you have it. I might edit them later, but it's time to get on to my other job--cleaning the wreck before playgroup tomorrow.