Personal Patination

Our Relief Society lesson on Sunday was on Elder Holland's talk, "None Were with Him." It was taught by a beautiful woman, Virginia Cook, whom I had never met before, except by reputation as a very talented artist, an oil painter. She was very gracious and well spoken, so it was especially easy to be taught by the spirit.

She began the discussion having people share examples of when they had felt alone--divorce, a wayward child, loss of a job, going away to college, family disagreements, or especially those times when we can't share with people when or why we feel alone, maybe because it isn't appropriate, it's too painful, or someone else just wouldn't understand. We've all been there.

There is only one person that understands all suffering of this kind, because He has literally felt the pains of all that's possible to experience: our Savior, Jesus Christ. In Alma 7:11-12, Alma the prophet describes Jesus' suffering and its purpose,

"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."

Elder Holland so eloquently describes how Jesus Christ's "supporting circle got smaller and smaller and his lonely journey back to His Father continued without companionship," even until He suffered the greatest of pain, the withdrawal of His Father. All so that He could know how to 'succor his people,' even when we sin and the Father's spirit withdraws.

Sister Cook then shared the example of painting a still life of a silver pitcher. There isn't a silver color or paint you use, you must paint the reflection of all that is around the silver item to give it shape and its beautiful patina. When silver is fired to rid it of impurities and make it stronger, it is placed in the center of the heat, at its hottest point. However, it can never be left, or it will be ruined if left too long. The artist knows when the silver has reached its potential, or silver patina, when he can see himself in the silver, or its reflection. I thought this was a beautiful metaphor for the atonement. When we allow the Master to work in our lives through difficult experiences and the healing effects of the atonement, we gain that beautiful patina only achieved through living His teachings. We then reflect it wherever we go and others can then see themselves as children of God in the shininess of our 'patina.'

I gained a better understanding of how much my Savior loves me and wants me to utilize His atonement. The pain I feel sometimes is not fun. However, I certainly need some 'polishing.' I had to reaffirm to myself Elder Holland's quote, "May we declare ourselves more fully disciples of the Lord Jesus Christ, not in word only, but in deed, in courage and in faith. May we stand by Jesus Christ at all times and in all things and in all places that we may be in, even until death; for surely that is how he stood by us when it was unto death and when he had to stand entirely and utterly alone." Because our Savior stood alone, we don't ever have to.

My mom's day

Today is my mom's birthday. She is 61 today (sorry, mom!)

I remember when my brother graduated from high school in 1993 and she cried and cried because the doctor had told her years ago that if she decided to have children, due to her health, she wouldn't see us graduate from high school. A morbid thought, but one I'm sure she thought about often in her life. Yet, she still chose to have my brother and me. She raised us, too, and now has lived to see not only our high school graduations, but our college graduations, marriages, and to know and love her four grandchildren, 16 years later.

I talked to her this morning as she headed home after her nail appointment and she giggled over Stewart's cute comments and my terrible singing of, "Happy Birthday." We talked about how hard it was for her to see me grow up with diabetes as she felt responsible and worried for me. Some days she probably regretted her choice, for my sake. I don't--which helps me through those days of regret as I watch my own son grow up with diabetes and other, even more difficult health challenges.

Motherhood is an awesome responsibility and a terrific blessing, too. On a few days thrown in there, it is a tremendous burden. Those are the days, though, that help us moms feel grateful for the days when our kids run to us, smiling, to tell us about some accomplishment, a kind word from a friend, a coveted invitation to a birthday party. The days when they wrap their arms around you or play a game with their brother or sister. I'm so grateful for my mom and how she plugged away, living life and being a mom. She has the greatest ideas--like that sticker collection book she made me from slide protectors. She always made the best Halloween costumes and was able to alter any dress for high school dances. She made clothes for my dolls, decorated the house, tole painted and showed us how to work hard in the yard and towards any goal that is worth working for.

After going to beauty school when I was 4 years old, she seemed to do everyone's hair in the neighborhood. In fact, I never had anyone else cut, perm or cut my hair until I was 23 year old and on my mission! She taught me to love crafts and to write thank you notes. She did all the chauffering to piano lessons, school, seminary and sports events and helped host sorority and church parties for my friends. Even when I forgot my lunch or school project, she always saved my day. She even took us toilet papering! She also always listened to my ramblings, even late at night, after dates, and the phone calls from college. She still does!

I'm so grateful for all my mom still does for me and my kids. I love you! Happy Birthday, Mom!

Fall, for me

The transition from summer to fall, that significant weekend of Labor Day, always symbolizes change and new things to come. It's the start of a new school year, the start of autumn and all its festivities. I love it! I think the most memorable of school years was starting junior high at Bonneville in 1986 (and how terrified I was) and BYU with Jennifer in August of 1991 (and how terrified I was). For our family, Labor Day also marks the start of the holiday season, beginning with my parents' anniversary (see picture below) on September 5.


The end of August has since become significant for me for a lot of other reasons, more important than any school year or holiday celebration. I was set apart as a missionary and entered the MTC on August 30 in 1995. The fall always reminds me of those two months in Provo where my testimony of Jesus Christ grew more than any other time in my life.



Five years later, Matt and I were officially 'engaged' on Labor Day in 2000. He drove 12 hours from California to bring me the beautiful ring he had picked out. We had a memorable barbecue in my parents' backyard that Labor Day weekend with my parents and my brother, Ben, and and his new wife, Launi (just married on August 9, 2000).



Just two short years later, our first son, Casper, entered the world at 8:15 a.m. on August 31, 2002. Matt's and my life were changed forever. We became parents.


Now, Casper's 7th birthday, we've become acutely aware of how quickly the 'Labor Days' keep coming. The new school years aren't ours anymore, but our childrens'. If we're lucky, it will soon be their missions and their weddings we'll celebrate.

So, how did we celebrate?



Thursday last week was an 'early release' day from school and I picked up the kids and 3 of Casper's friends for lunch at KFC and bowling. What a crazy time! At first, all patrons had to fear for their toes as 4 seven year olds threw, dropped, slid and launched bowling balls of all weights and colors down lanes 32 and 33 (and 1 time down lane 31). Lucky for us, no one was hurt and not one game was interrupted. We got it down by the end, though, and Stewart, the lucky guy, not only won the game with 120 points, but got the only strike of the day. He also walked away with his own pair of bowling shoes, compliments of the lady at the front desk. It pays to be cute!! We capped off the celebration with dishes of ice cream and headed home.

We're grateful that Casper is part of our family! He's grown so much in these last seven years, we have to fold him in half just to sit on our laps at church!

Casper, we're just glad you still want to sit on our laps! We love how much you love toys and how much you love your little brother. We love your artwork and craft projects and most of all, we love you! Happy Birthday!

Back in School

Whitney and Casper started school again on August 10, which seems early to me, not to mention that it's still over 100 degrees! The day went much better than when Casper started kindergarten last year; it does help to have some experience and to have a helpful husband in tow.

Whitney was the most excited to start kindergarten--to have a class and teacher of her own and to be with all the new kids. The little boy sitting right next to her, Jose, just happened to be someone she knew from her little preschool last year, so that helped break the ice. When I stopped in for Casper's lunch check, the look on her face said, "Why are you here, mom?" I had been worried that she wouldn't be ready because her birthday is so late, but I feel very comfortable with it, now. When she got home at 3:40, she STILL wasn't tired!





Casper has a great teacher, Ms. Maitner. I honestly haven't heard much from Casper about his time at school. Each time I went into his classroom, it was totally quiet and all the kids were working. I need to get some tips! I'm guessing Casper will have a lot of pent up energy this year, but I couldn't be happier about the care and learning environment they are both in. I do miss both of them, especially the fun things we get to do together. However, I don't miss the 'fighting' and it's been nice for Stewart and me to get to play. The house is actually cleaner, already!

I loved the pictures from the bus stop at the end of the day--the first words out of Whitney's mouth were, "I was SO scared, mom, I didn't want to ride the bus without Casper, but he was so nice and let me sit by him, I was SO scared." Her next words were, "I can't wait to ride the bus in the morning!"

Dog days of summer

The one good thing about it being so warm in the day here is that the pool is like a big bathtub at night. I couldn't resist this picture of Stewart falling asleep in the pool in the floatie; it reminded me that the summer is coming to an end and we have a few days to sit back and relax before the hectic schedule begins on August 10.

I have mixed feelings. While it's been a great summer with lots of fun with our family and friends, I will be glad for the normal schedule, cooler temperatures and the fun school activities in the fall. While I'm excited for Whitney to start kindergarten (where has the time gone?), I don't agree with such a long school day from 8:40 - 3:40. It'll be a big adjustment for the kids to be gone from home so long. It'll be an adjustment for Stewart. It'll be an adjustment for me.

To give summer a big farewell, we've been keeping busy. At the end of July, my mom (Grandma Casper) came to visit and help me out with some medical appointments while Matt was on Reserve Duty. The kids enjoyed her stories, movies and Diet Coke!



The next weekend, we went camping with our friends, the Carlsons. They are terrific people and easy to be with. Matt and I were unusually stressed as Matt got home from his two week reserve duty just hours before we headed up to Mormon Lake and we forgot quite a few things, but Matt did get out on the canoe with Mark, Bella and Joshua, and Casper and Whitney. Carla is a great cook and I'd go camping with her, anytime! One highlight was the game, Splash Out, where you pass around a ball filled with a water balloon that breaks when the time runs out...the kids and adults loved it!





Today we went to the Childrens' Museum for several hours with Cambria and her Grandma, Judy. The kids kept so busy, it was 4 p.m. before we knew it. I loved watching them all interact together in the exhibits.





I've been letting the kids use my camera (yikes!) for summer projects. Casper is making a Star Wars still shot movie that I'm still trying to set to music (to be posted later) and Whitney spent quite a lot of time posing her dog, Shotzy. It's really cool to see your kids grow up and do things they've never done before.



Last on our summer list was getting our new baby, Ping. This is Casper's insulin pump. We'll keep you updated on the progress, but overall we're excited to have him join our family. The first 3 weeks have been rocky, but I think I've gotten the basal rates to a point that Casper actually woke up with a blood sugar of 93 yesterday and today and has stayed within 30 points of that, even after eating. It's made a huge difference in how Casper feels (and in how he acts).

Enjoy your 'dog days of summer' while they're still here!

P.S.NOT part of my summer enjoyment were the TWO speeding tickets I received in July from the 'Automated Traffic Enforcement' cameras that are so famous on our lovely Phoenix freeways. I haven't driven I-17 South all that often, so I missed the short speed trap that drops to 55. I was driving 66 and 67 mph. Each ticket is $181.50!! I could have bought some really cute clothes! :(

Date with the dentist

I just had to post this picture of my kids' last visit to the dentist. Not a tear, complaint or whine from the bunch, not even from Stewart. All came away with no cavities, too. I have to give the dentist and his assistant full credit for their calm manner and patience in describing each instrument and procedure. As you can see, Stewart sat without restraints during his cleaning. Kudos to Dr. Ellis, too, for challenging both Whitney and Casper to join the 'Thumbs Out' Club and stop sucking their thumbs. From that visit on, both are still thumb free during the night and all day long (only one relapse from Whitney). In combo with Ronelle's application of that 'nasty stuff' while we were at the beach, we just might be done with the thumbs. Now, what to do with Stewart's fingers? He just laughs when we put on the 'nasty stuff' and pops those babies right back in his mouth. :)

Sand between my toes

Seven loads of laundry later, I'm STILL walking around at home, feeling sand in between my toes left over from the beach...or is it just that I'm dreaming I'm still at the beach?

Our trip to Refugio State Beach over the 4th of July was certainly one of those vacations that has been hard to recover from. Foremost, we really miss being with our friends from Ridgecrest. The kids especially miss the freedom to run and roam with their buds in the water, in the sand and in the campground. It was so refreshing to see them all get along without any residual pushing or shoving. I surprised myself with a morning of Boogie Boarding that started out with a mouthful of water. Matt captured that moment perfectly (refer to slideshow). Whitney surprised me, too, with her joy in the water and in the sand, where before she's always been afraid or bored. Casper was determined to take both Stewarts (his brother and the Call's son) boogie boarding, though they weren't too interested in the water. Casper did great on the board! Looking for treasures in the tide pools was really beautiful and fun in the mornings. We also enjoyed sharing our campfires and food and funny stories while the kids gorged themselves on bags of marshmallows every night.

Casper has a totally new attitude about putting on his vest now that Mackay, Colin and Simon all gave it a try.

I already really miss some of the women I love most in the world--the ones who have helped me to be a better mom and person (you know who you are)! That Mongolian BBQ we ate for Kathryn's bday wasn't bad, either! Matt and I had our first date in a really long time thanks to Charity and Ben Call watching our kids while a few couples went to a great steakhouse in Solvang. We so owe you!

The 4th of July started out with a traditional parade around the campground and we couldn't be left out. Matt was very proud of his new bike and seat for the kids. It was something to watch him stay balanced!

Yes, I still haven't recovered...and I hope that sand stays between my toes until next summer. Thanks for such a great time!